Warning: If you don't want to hear me bitch and moan read no further.
It's just unfuckingbelievable. I didn't think It was possible to run so bad for so long, while getting 10x better at poker throughout the process. Having had multiple 15bi downswings I thought I had a good grasp of variance. I figured with a bankroll of over 100 bis I'm set and can handle any hurdles that come my way. Wow was I wrong. After two straight months of basically just getting my shit pushed in every fucking day, I'm seriously considering quitting poker.
I thought the best part about my game was my ability to handle tilt and keep a cool levelheaded approach. However, after a 40bi downsing and an insane run of making 8bis, losing 8bis, making 10bis, losing 10bis, making 6bis, losing 6bis, it feels impossible to not let it affect me. I just can't understand how I keep consistently getting owned by people who probably don't know a flush beats a staight. Its like watching tons of poker videos/studying them religiously, having a good coach, and being in a weekly hu study group has done nothing for me. I literally run like complete ass in 95% of my sessions. It feels like mental torture day in and day out.
I'm so tempted to just withdraw my whole roll but part of me enjoys the pain and I keep telling myself that one day I'll start to run hot again. I know everyone hates reading these "omg I run so bad" blogs but It feels good for me to write about it. I guess I need to quit being such a whiny little bitch and just man up. Things could definitely be worse and I should probably be happy about the fact I'm in the best shape of my life and have a loving and caring family.
Until next time.