There's people talking, they talk about me

By:

ItsMeMikey 

Dated:

15 May, 2009

7 Comments

Oh hey everyone!  It’s me, Mikey.

As if my former roommate wasn’t useless enough, he used my computer to update his Sirius radio which he insisted would take less than 10 minutes and ended up taking two hours.  After downloading an absurd amount of programs to fix his tuner, my computer didn’t work anymore.  I have spent the last two weeks fixing it which is the reason that I haven’t updated recently.  I had a lot of good ideas that I wanted to share too but I can’t remember some of them.  So without further ado, let’s talk about what is grinding my gears.

I’ll start with some terrible news – Danny Gokey lost on American Idol.  I care about this for no other reason than the $50 I lost getting 15:1 on a bet with Phil.  We kept pausing the episode to workout a buyout but we could never agree on a price.  I guess I should have accepted his final offer of $25 before it was announced.  Adam Lambert?  Seriously?  How is he an AMERICAN idol?  I guarantee he is doing Rent or some other homoerotic love fest on Broadway in two years.  He is such a one-trick-pony with his pud-boy, screaming, one note antics and it’s frustrating to see people reward that garbage.  Some of you, judging from some of the comments I’ve gotten, may think that I am being homophobic but you’re wrong.  I am anything but scared of gays as that term implies.

On that note, one thing that I’ve noticed about New York is that when I am out and about, I sometimes see two boys kissing.  Recently, I’ve gotten really confused when I see this because I forgot about gay people and didn’t really understand what they were doing.  At first I got nervous because I didn’t understand what was going on, and then I started laughing because I thought it was some sort of prank and then I remembered gay people and just continued walking.

In less than one week, the prodigal son (me) will be making his triumphant return to Las Vegas for the WSOP.  The place that we’re staying in is so fresh that I’m guaranteeing I run up through at least three hood rats.  Suns out, guns out bitches.  Also, I’m guaranteeing that I win a bracelet this year so if you want some free money, go ahead and see what kind of odds you can get on me winning a bracelet and then leverage the shit out of yourself to get action on it.  Also, I’m not making any promises, but we’re working on getting some fresh as shit bluefire gear like sweatshirts, hats, tuxedos, speedos, edible undies, unitards etc. before the start of the series.  If that sounds like something you might be interested in and you see me somewhere in Las Vegas, say something to me and you might get a free piece of gear.  I promise now that my computer is fixed I will update more regularly.  Ok bye.

Shoutouts –

Mig.com – At first I didn’t like you and Halfrek because you won over 90% of tournaments that you entered but now I think you’re really cool.

Bill Gazes – Remember when you pulled that disgusting suck out on me in the $2500 PLH tourney last year?  Well you look like an anorexic Vlade Divac and I hate you.  Suck it easy you jerk.

Amanda Leatherman – Yum

Ziigmund – How excited are you that we are so close to hanging out?  Lars and his friend invited me to Finland and I am going to take them up on their offer.  See you at WSOP and then in the motherland.  Dipset.

Luke Schwartz – Gay.  You look like Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts.  Keep talking shit about Hac and Tom and you’ll have a free ticket on the pain train.

WhenIGetFree - I dig your style brah, you can get a sweatshirt if you see me sittin pretty at the WSOP.