Ok, so it’s been a really long time but hey, it’s still me, Mikey.
I guess I’ll just take it from the top since I have a lot to talk about. Our place that we’re staying in for the summer is an absolute panty dropper. Pool table, hot tub with a glass wall overlooking the strip, a shower, some lamps and chairs and stuff, two paintings, a railing around the edge of the balcony – just really high class stuff. I’m trying to get Phil to let me host a craigslist orgy at the place but I think I’m going to have to sell it a bit more before he gives the OK.
I pulled a really good practical joke on myself the other day that I’d like to talk about. We go through a lot of water at our place so there are inevitably a ton of empty smart water bottles laying (laying or lying? Help me out here) our place. I was having a relaxing soak in our hot tub and picked up one of the empty water bottles on the side of the hot tub and brought it into the tub and filled it with water. I sealed the cap on tightly and left it by the side of the hot tub thinking that someone would eventually get a gulp full of chlorine/essence of Mikey+Phil/hoodrat juice water. A few days go by and the bottle isn’t there anymore so I figure someone must have thrown it away. Later that week, I pour a bunch of booze into my head and wake up with a solid hangover. The first thing I did was reach on the nightstand next to my bed for a smart water bottle and get about halfway through with the bottle before I realized that it was indeed the hot tub water that I was drinking. I was flooded with emotion – at first I was really mad, then felt kind of sick, then throw-uppy and lastly I had a good laugh at such a successful prank. I guess I was able to evaluate the situation objectively even though I was the butthole of the joke.
I guess I can finally write something about poker because I’ve played a couple of events so far. So I’m currently the 25th best $2,500 pot limit Omaha player in the world right now. On my final hand, I raised up a nice looking double suited junk (diamonds and spades) and was reraised by someone and we ended up getting it in pre. He had clubs and hearts which I knew was going to win. I really think I should have waited until I at least had clubs because I always hit club flushes and Phil has told me on numerous occasions that both clubs and hearts make flushes about 10% more than the other suits. Some of the highlights of that PLO tournament were busting Hellmuth. He’s sort of a whack job because he always asks the dealer to remove his hands from the deck after they cut it. It amazes me that someone who has played cards for as long as he has thinks that he’s either being cheated or that the cards aren’t being fully randomized unless that procedure is followed. Johnny Chan does that booshit a lot too but at least he has the excuse of being Asian and superstitious. I won’t go into too much detail about the hand cause it’s not that interesting but I got him with the old limpry-goose. I limped AAds under the gun and when it gets to him he pots it. I give him a repot and then he tanks and starts yelling “REALLY KID? OK, lets see if I can hit my set!” and calls leaving himself about a pot size bet. Flop comes K43 w/ two hearts, I have AA57 w/ nut hearts so before I shove the flop, Hellmuth goes “fine, whatever, here TAKE IT, I’m all in.” So I guess I called, or shoved, I’m not really sure, but he had like Q1086 with one suit which happened to be hearts so I guess I pushed his shit in real good on that hand. The thing I don’t understand is that before he called my repot preflop, he said he was going to try to hit his set but he didn’t even have a pair in his hand! I told him that I didn’t appreciate his ruse after I saw his hand. Another highlight was knocking out Andy Bloch on the bubble. It was folded around to me in the SB and I said “goin up,” and raised the shit out of it. Andy looks at his cards and snap shoves and I was way priced in. Even if I wasn’t priced in and Andy was the chip leader of the tournament and I was 2nd in chips, I would have shipped it because I had a really good feeling about my hand. Of course I flop a straight and bink a flush(clubs) vs his naked aces. Needless to say, he was kind of upset but he handled it pretty well. I would have said the F word way more than he did.
Non poker/Finland stuff –
I finally met the man they call Ziigmund and it was everything I thought it would be and more. He’s so f cool that I didn’t really know what to say when I saw him. Larsluzak has been putting in some good words for me with Ilari and I think we are going to hang out again before the summer is over and I’ll be sure to update everyone on the status of that.
I played golf for the first two times of my life this summer. The first time was at TPC Las Vegas with Sami (LarsLuzak) and I think I bit off a little more than I could chew. I can’t really make contact with the driver so I had to use my irons and pitching wedge out of the tee box which didn’t bode well for the par fives. We made a ton of bets throughout the round, one where he gave me 8 strokes out of the bunker which was right next to the green when he was on the green. He 3 putted and believe it or not, we tied the hole with the 8 strokes. It took me 6 or so tries to get it out of the bunker and I was getting increasingly pissed with each stroke so on the final stroke I sent it about 200 feet passed the green. Wha-eva.
Oh, another thing that happened to me recently and is kind of embarrassing is that I had just landed back in Las Vegas from a flight from Boston and decided to go for a run (in my socks) on the treadmill in our room. I jack it up to the highest speed and run a quarter mile. At the end of one lap, I go to stand on the sides of the treadmill and turn it off but I had misjudged how wide my feet needed to be and my foot hit the tread and was flung back. I slipped but was still holding onto the bar. The pool table is located directly behind the treadmill and I didn’t want to release the bar and go careening into the pool table so I took probably 6 seconds or so to assess the situation, all the while the tread was going full speed and ripping the skin off my knees and foot. I eventually decided to barrel roll off and barely escaped the pool table. My knees and feet were bleeding for a couple hours and got the inside and a little bit of the outside of my jeans bloody and what not. Now there is just a puss filled scab, so that’s kinda hot.
No shoutouts this post because no one has really caught my fancy. I promise some next time because I’ll be on the lookout for cool people.