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Post Date: 07 Feb, 2010
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Hi guys,
The second of the two "Samo on Tilt" videos was just released today. I just wanted to let you guys know that I have been listening to your feedback, and at some point in the near or mid-term future, I will go back and make a new video or two analyzing what I feel were my mistakes in this Samo on Tilt series. I think that will provide a good supplement to the videos in which I played poorly without quite being able to pinpoint why. As an aside, making such a video will hopefully help me square up my game as well.
In other news, I continue to destroy it in fantasy football. After this latest gameweek, I am up to 160th in the world (out of 2.25 million) and have the second highest score of all players based in the United States (out of over 70,000). I also just realized that I can link my team. So for those of you that are interested, here is my team.
http://fantasy.premierleague.com/M/entryhist.mc?id=7325
You can click on "history" and "transfer history" to see the changes that I have made throughout the year.
After today's loss, Arsenal is pretty much out of the title race, so we have to concentrate on Champions League now (I don't think that falling out of the top 4 is a serious concern). |
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Post Date: 05 Feb, 2010
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It's the same old story. My poker has been catastrophic - I am suffering the worst downswing of my life using any metric: total amount lost, length of downswing, number of buyins lost, consecutive losing sessions, you name it. In parallel (and obviously related), my divorce settlement has broken down completely, and has devolved into a full-out war that is causing me unimaginable stress and depression.
But I am going to avoid sounding like a broken record. The one thing I have going for me is that I have reached dizzying heights in my fantasy football league. I used my wild card a couple of weeks ago to great effect, and with 1513 points, am now up to 293rd (out of over 2.2 million) in the world and tied for 5th (out of over 70,000), only 8 points behind the country leader. I know it's silly, but I am pretty much hanging my hat on fantasy football to keep my head up for now.
It's do or die for Arsenal on Sunday. I think that we need to get something (and will probably need 3 not 1) at the Bridge to stay in the title race.
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Post Date: 01 Feb, 2010
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Recently, I have been biting my lip upon receiving some emails and messages that I find - frankly - somewhat foolish. I suspect that the people sending these emails are a small majority, but in case the thought process is a bit more widespread than I had thought, I think it might be worthwhile for me to address them.
The following is an example of some of the stuff that has been written to or about me:
"i'm a member on bluefire and think his videos have been terrible. new video he says "i've been playing badly for the past 3 or 4 months". but still making "coaching" videos. it's a joke, we need proven winning regs THAT STILL WIN to make video"
OK, my first instinct is to get really irritated at something like this, but I can at least partially understand the skepticism that some people that might have to be getting coaching from a player that has not been playing well for several months now. So I am going to try and explain with a clear head.
I feel like I am presenting my resume in a sense, but I'd like to point out that this is my fifth year that I have been a professional online player. During that time, I have won millions of dollars, winning consistently and at a very good rate. For more than half of LAST year itself, I was still winning at a rate of over 4 BB/100.
My downswing started in the latter part of last year, during which time, admittedly, my results have been poor. However, I'd like to point out that this has coincided with an unbelievably stressful time in my life. I am going through a brutal divorce, in which custody of my beloved son (as well as very complicated financial settlements due to the nature of my job as a poker player) have been an ongoing battle. This is more an explanation than an excuse, but I can't imagine that anyone going through what I have been going through over the last year would be able to maintain the emotional harmony and equanimity to be able to play their best game or anything close to it.
However, let's think about how this may or may not affect me as a poker instructor (since that is what you guys will obviously be concerned with). There are two very different aspects to being a top player. There is the intellectual aspect and there is the emotional aspect. The two factors are pretty much uncorrelated.
Now what has gone wrong with me is clearly and unquestionably the emotional side of things. I have been unable to focus while playing, developing tilt issues, and trying to combat a "I don't give a damn" attitude when I am playing. These issues are totally different from the intellectual side of poker - which is the side that encompasses coaching through making videos and giving lessons. Folks, I have not suddenly forgotten how to play, nor has the game passed me by or anything ridiculous like that. If my results were in a steady decline, that could be argued. However, I have gone from being a massive winner to suddenly struggling - the results "turning on a dime" so to speak. Surely, even the most skeptical amongst you will realize that is clearly a function of my emotions/personal issues and not some phantom erasing my poker brain.
My most recent video on BFP was one that I recorded while I was not playing well. I thought that it would be an interesting way for you guys to get a unique look into what actually happens when a top player's game goes awry. I intend to revisit that session in a follow up video sometime and analyze what I think were my mistakes. I think and expect that most of you enjoyed the video and got something (a different approach to a video) out of it. However, I have received a few nasty emails and private messages on twoplustwo denigrating me as a poker instructor, similar to the one that I cut and paste at the top of this message.
To those people (and those of you who might be at least partially feeling this way), I want to emphasize that my intellectual understanding of the game is still the same or better as it was when I was winning at a massive rate. And since my videos are unclouded by the primal emotions that are associated with PLAYING poker, my current emotional shortcomings that are affecting my results will not be affecting my video quality.
I'd also like to point out that to a man and with no exceptions, every single private student of mine has improved their game (and consequently their results) dramatically. This includes my current and recent students. Having experienced my coaching, no one has discontinued lessons or in any way felt that their learning experience has been diminished by the fact that my actual results have been poor of late.
I can only say this to those of you that feel like the person who posted the message that I wrote. If you think that my videos are not beneficial because I have been losing lately, then I really believe that you are not approaching the learning process properly. You may or may not like my videos, but the quality of my videos is the same as it was when I was getting nothing but praise and accolades. I don't have a problem if you think my videos are poor, but that should be a function of the videos themselves and not because of my recent playing results. Clearly, some external circumstances (and my consequent emotional disharmony) have screwed up the quality of my actual play.
Finally, I want to add that I do know (or at least I believe) that the people that feel this way are in the minority, and I am glad that the rest of you still appreciate my understanding of the game and ability to teach it. And I can say to both sets of people that once I am able to get through these personal problems and be living in a state where I am not perenially stressed as I have been, I expect to return to my winning ways. But even until then, the quality and caliber of my videos should be the same as they always have been.
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Post Date: 24 Jan, 2010
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I know I have not blogged much at all these days. I just wanted to let you guys know that I am going through the absolute fucking worst of it now. (I know I said I was giving up swearing but I am making an exception) The good news is that the end of this godforsaken, miserable divorce is going to be soon. The bad news is that now that we are in the homestretch, the divorce - and consequently, my life - is as stressful and miserable than it has ever been: worse than even all of last year when I was stuck in the same house as Priti.
I can't go into details at the moment, but I cannot begin to describe what a goddamned miserable excuse for a human being my ex-wife has turned into over the course of the divorce. The things that she is doing now - a combination of unbelievable greed, lack of ethics, and just a cruel desire to hurt me for no reason - are really amazing me. I really thought and hoped that we would have some semblance of an amicable separation and divorce - or at least not go out of our way to hurt and screw the other. After all, we still have to fucking work together to co-parent our son.
OK, I am going to stop writing before I say too much (probably too late for that but whatever).
Just so you guys know, I have a few videos in the pipeline so you'll still get my videos. But I probably won't be blogging or posting in the forums for at least a little while. ... I need to just focus on not putting a cleaver through my fucking head for a few days (just kidding about that last bit - no one worry about me doing anything stupid please!) |
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Post Date: 18 Jan, 2010
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I took Sachil ice-skating today. It was his first time ever and my first time in about 25 years. It was remarkable how quickly he picked it up. At first, I thought our outing would be five minutes max: he could not even stand up on his skates and was crying tears of frustration. However, within 20 minutes or so, he was flying around the rink in complete control. In fact, after the first five minutes, he insisted that I not even hold his hand - he wanted to go it alone! He really loved it too, so I think that this might be an activity of choice for the rest of the winter.
Changing the subject to my videos, the next two videos that will be coming out on the site are going to be somewhat different. As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, I played very poorly in my first couple sessions of the year. I think that it was a combination of dealing with the emotional shock to my system of actually (finally) physically separating from my wife (and being away from Sachil for half the time) - and just being rusty by simply not having played for several weeks while on vacation in Albuquerque. So I ended up making a two part video series of myself playing poorly. I'm not sure if you guys will like the videos: for one thing, it was my first time doing a live video (as opposed to adding the commentary later as I usually do). Because of that, I jump around in my thought process between tables, and I hope that I am coherent enough. The other thing is that the video was made when I was playing at least a little bit badly. I was forcing the action, playing too aggressively, and overdoing the levelling thing. Since then, I have gotten my bearings and have been playing well. However, I was not able to quite decipher what I was doing wrong while recording that session. As a result, I think it will make for an interesting video in the sense that you guys will get to see what happens when a usually big winning player's game goes awry. That might help you guys detect similarities if and when you find your own games slipping and be able to nip it in the bud faster and more accurately. Anyway, as I said, I've got myself sorted out since recording the videos and have been playing well. But I hope that the videos will be beneficial to you guys anyway.
Regarding my post about heads up videos, I want to say again that I realize that I can't please everyone. There is enough interest in my heads up series that I am going to play at least a couple of matches and resume the series. However, for those of you that prefer my 6-max videos, don't worry: I am going to continue to make plenty of those as well. |
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Post Date: 14 Jan, 2010
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As I mentioned a couple months ago, I am going to resume my challenge samo HU series. If you want to play me HU for a video, please send me an email at nimankenkre@yahoo.com. The following are the parameters:
- 90 minute match
- has to be on Stars
- has to be at your normal stakes (I'll play a 5-10 player at 5-10 or a 1-2 player at 1-2, but I don't want to play a 5-10 player at 1-2, etc).
- has to be against a current paid Bluefire member
Please include your BFP user name and the stakes that you want to play in your email.
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Post Date: 12 Jan, 2010
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I'm glad that a lot of the readers of my blog are playing and following the fantasy EPL game. It makes me feel less silly about gloating about how I am doing on a semi-regular basis! 
Thanks in no small part to yesterday's hat trick by the ugliest footballer alive (with apologies to Joleon Lescott, Wayne Rooney, Ronaldinho, and Luke Chadwick), I am now ranked 672nd in the world (out of more than 2.2 million playing the game). With 1256 points, I now have the 13th highest score in the US (out of over 69,000). However, although that is (barely) enough to put me top of our league, I have my primary rivals - Asa and his brother - right on my tail.
Other notables in the league are Asa (2nd place, 1248 points), Asa's brother Louie (3rd, 1247), my cousin Pranav (6th, 1203), Asa's father Richard (11th, 1131), my brother Prabhav (13th, 1115), good friend and BFP member Ron (27th, 1048), and fellow BFP member James Cross (30th, 972).
My current team looks like this:
GK: Thomas Sorensen, Joe Hart
D: Ashley Cole, Branislav Ivanovic, Patrice Evra, William Gallas, Ryan Shawcross
M: Andrei Arshavin, Antonio Valencia, Clint Dempsey, Charles N'Zogbia, Jamie O'Hara
F: Wayne Rooney, Carlos Tevez, Darren Bent |
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Post Date: 10 Jan, 2010
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Hi guys,
I know I have not blogged much lately - and frankly, I don't feel like writing much now. I just wanted to give you guys an update. After a full year since we first filed for divorce, Priti and I are finally physically separated. We've agreed to a fully joint custody agreement with Sachil, and she and I are now finally living in different homes.
I have wanted to expedite this process and was really eager to get to this point so that I could start living my life again. However, now that it is here, I am finding myself really depressed and lacking energy. In our custody agreement, I have Sachil in the beginnings of each week, Priti has him at the ends, and we will be splitting weekends. Since I came back from Albuquerque, Sachil has been with Priti - and I have been by myself for the last 4-5 days. And although this is exactly what I had wanted, I am suddenly feeling a lot of the malaise and sadness that I did not allow myself to feel while going through the process all last year. And although I have been away from Sachil for a few days here and there before, I've never missed him as much as I do now. I guess the realization that after seeing him more or less every day for the first (almost) four years of his life, I am now going to see him only half the time - is really hitting me a lot harder than I had anticipated.
I have found myself lacking the energy to do much of anything. I also did something stupid - which was to try and throw myself into poker to take my mind off of my depression. That is always a terrible idea, and consequently, I have started this year horribly at the tables. I'm really disappointed with that, because after struggling with not playing my A-game for much of last year (especially the last few months), I was really looking forward to a great start to this year. I have really run ridiculously badly - having some of the worst beats and coolers in a short time period that I have ever had (today alone, I lost THREE times with an overfull against quads - and that was just the beginning of it). But I have also played badly. This will be my fifth year as a full-time professional poker player, and much as I try to get around this fact, I simply cannot play well when I am feeling like crap personally. Some people are good at blocking out their personal distractions and not letting it affect them at the tables. I am obviously not one of them.
Before this year, I have always started my years off really well. I know it is just a psychological thing to separate your results my year, but it is really frustrating to start the year in such a big hole after just a few sessions.
Anyway, that is the bad news. The good news is that of course, although the divorce is not over yet, finally being able to live separately from Priti is a huge step. I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of this divorce. And because I will no longer have the latent stress that accompanied living with her, I expect that things will be a lot better for me personally and professionally soon. I guess I just have to "get used" to the new life and get used to seeing Sachil only half the time. Once I am psychologically OK with that (again, I had not expected to feel as badly as I do at this point), I think that I will be a lot happier than I have been in a long time. And I expect that once I get my personal life in order, I will finally start playing some good poker again. I was really hoping for that to have been the turn of the year, and although I (and the bad beat and cooler Gods) let me down in that regard, the turnaround will be coming soon.
The only positive right now is that I am kicking butt in fantasy EPL. I am in first place in our league, #32 in the USA, and 1177th in the world right now.
Going to sign off for now. I'll be back once I get myself over this malaise and general lack of energy ... |
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Post Date: 01 Jan, 2010
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Happy New Year to everyone! I've been in Albuquerque with Sachil, visiting my parents since the 23rd. My dad's computer is terribly slow (using the internet is like working with a dial-up connection), which is the reason that I have not posted much or blogged at all while I've been year. I'll be back in Boston the day after tomorrow and will update my blog in more detail soon after that.
I hope that everyone had a great New Year's Eve, and I wish you all the best of the new year. |
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Post Date: 18 Dec, 2009
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Well, those of you that follow my blog know that this has been a long, tough year for me. Normally, I really enjoy reflecting upon the year past when a calendar year comes to a close and recalling all of my endeavors and experiences. But this has been the worst year of my life - both in poker and in life (the former obviously directly related to the latter).
As far as poker is concerned, I started the year moderately well. But as my life became more and more difficult, logistically and emotionally, my game started to unravel a little. Though not the worst in terms of total amount (because I used to play higher), I went through the longest (in terms of time) downswing of my life. I think I did do fairly well to keep the losses from being catastrophic: it was more like a long break-even streak than a long losing streak - but it certainly wore on me. Losing sessions frustrated me, and I did not even enjoy my winning sessions. I took a short break from the tables a few months ago, watched a few of Tommy Angelo's videos (thanks for the recommendations guys), and went back to the tables with a clean slate. I did turn it around after that, and feel like I am playing for the right reasons - and unsurprisingly - playing well again. I still am playing fewer hours than I ever have as I manage the logisitics of the divorce, but I do have my confidence back and am expecting a big 2010.
Personally, this year has, to put it mildly, really challenged my mettle. Last year was difficult: my marriage fell apart over the course of 2008. But this year has been so much worse: I think that most people that have gone through a divorce will tell you that it is one of the most traumatic and difficult experiences that one could endure. In my case, it has been that much worse, because we have been stuck living together the entire time while in a somewhat combative divorce. Because neither of us could afford to move out (lest the other change their mind about split custody of Sachil), we were stuck living in the same house over the entire year, even as we continued to experience the anger, frustration, depression, and stress towards ourselves and towards each other. I can say that while I did not handle this emotionally in a perfect way, I am pretty proud of myself for keeping myself fairly strong. I am a pretty emotional person, and to survive this ordeal, I have had to turn my emotions off so to speak. I feel like I have done that and have managed this difficult year as best as was possible for me given my psychological and emotional makeup.
I do believe that this is going to be over soon. I am not sure what "soon" means, and I hesitate to venture any guesses. But I can say that I have really high hopes for both the short and long term future. It looks very likely that we are going to agree to a split custody agreement. I think that despite our animosity towards each other, we have managed to keep Sachil as our first priority and I dare say that we have co-parented him very well. Other than missing out on seeing his dad and his mom having a loving relationship with each other, I feel like Sachil has been raised in close to an optimal way given the circumstances. I am thrilled that I will continue to be a major part of his life, and I also have a lot of confidence and optimism that we will raise him very well together.
One positive thing that has happened to me this year has been the Bluefire experience. I am really proud and happy to have been a major part of this site. I really enjoy teaching poker, which is something that I think I do every bit as well if not better than playing it. And this website has given me the opportunity to really cultivate my passion for teaching. I have also had the opportunity to work with some outstanding students - both in my private lessons and in my group lessons. I have been really thrilled to see the rapid progress of my students, knowing that I have played a large role in their development. I also feel really fortunate to have worked with the Bluefire team. Even though I have not actually met any one of them yet, it has been an honor to work with Phil - a legend who is every bit as good of a guy as he is a poker player. Jason, who is closer in age and life stage than the rest of the crew has been an inspiration. I have discussed some situations with him - regarding poker and other things, and his super intelligent and ethical handling of every situation has been really impressive. I have not had much opportunity to interract with Don, but I am really psyched to have him on our team. It's not often that you find a player who can relate to the small stakes players and games - and be a crushing player and teacher in that regard. Finally, Martin. What can I say? Because I am older, have a family (and thus don't travel or play live much), I have rarely (rarely = pretty much never) had an opportunity to talk poker with another great player. I evolved my own game with no one to discuss stuff with over the years. The few poker friends that I do have are either not at my level (sorry for the indulgence), primarily live players, or both. So I can say that in working with him to make our collaborative videos, I have found myself being pushed, seeing things from so many different angles, and learning poker in a way that I had not thought possible. And he is such a great (and hilarious) guy to boot too. I can say without exaggeration that working with Martin has easily been the best professional experience of my poker career.
Finally, I'd like to give a shout out to Bill and Wes. Bill is the brains behind the entire operation. He was a group student of mine a long time ago, and I am really pleased and flattered that he and Phil wanted me to be a part of the Bluefire experience. Over the course of the year, there have been more than a few logistical hurdles that we have encountered, and Bill has handled them with grace and dignity. And what would I ever do without Wes? He is our technical guy: my savior time and time again. As I'm sure you guys know by now, I am a total buffoon when it comes to techical issues, and without Wes to help me, I would have pulled out all my hair by now (and probably quit in frustration).
So as I look ahead to 2010, I am filled with hope and expectation for a great year. In terms of poker, I can guarantee that you will see the same (or better) samo that dominated online poker in '06 and '07. The emotional fallout from the dissolution of my marriage clearly affected my poker game towards the end of '08 and much of this year, but I feel strong and confident - and believe me: you will not want to be at my tables in 2010! :)
And in terms of my personal life, I am excited, looking forward to a "clean slate." I have to rebuild my life, make new friends, and find my way again. But with the incredible relationship that I have with my son, coupled with the flexibility that my job provides me, I am looking forward to the journey.
Happy Holidays everyone.
P.S.: in 3rd place with 1017 points in fantasy EPL. will give details another time. |
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Post Date: 15 Dec, 2009
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Hi guys,
I know that a lot of you have had issues with my fold of the ace high flush that only loses to the two card straight flush (from my "know when to fold 'em" video). I just wanted to make a quick blog entry to let you guys know that I finally got around to making a detailed forum post in the thread that covers that video that explains and analyzes the fold in a bit more detail, supplementing my analysis from the video.
Changing the subject, there is one spot left in my group lessons. Send me an email at nimankenkre@yahoo.com if you want to join. |
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Post Date: 14 Dec, 2009
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I took Sachil to see the Nutcracker at the Boston Opera house last night. One of my oldest memories is seeing the Nutcracker with my parents (I must have been about 4 years old I think). I think I may have seen it one more time when I was a young teenager too. Then the last time was on a date when I had first moved to Boston in 1997. I remember knowing the Nutcracker story and the music pretty well and trying to "read" my date to determine if it would be interpreted as more impressive or more effeminate to show off my knowledge.
Anyway, I told Sachil the story and showed him an abbreviated version on youtube before we left. He insisted on dressing up in a suit. I wish I was not such a technical idiot - or else I could post an adorable picture or two (I just don't know how). Predictably, he loved the battle between the nutcracker soldier and his army vs the mouse king and his army of rats. He actually kept up his attention and interest through the whole show. I wasn't sure if I was taking him a year or two too early - but he seemed to thoroughly enjoy it.
Obviously a big win for Arsenal yesterday, especially with Chelsea and ManU dropping points at home. After all but writing off the league after the loss to Chelsea a couple weeks ago, the Gunners are right back in it. We definitely need a top striker that can hold up the ball though. Arshavin is doing OK in that role for now, but we are not going to win the league if he plays up top for the whole season. Eduardo and Bendtner are not the answers either. |
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Post Date: 10 Dec, 2009
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As I mentioned in my previous entry, I am going to open enrollment for the next session of my group lessons. The details/logistics are as follows.
- I am going to cap the group at a maximum of six students so that everyone will get a good deal of personalized attention.
- The lessons will be once every two weeks from 9:30-11:30pm EST. They will be conducted over AOL instant messenger. The first lesson will be on Tuesday, January 5th.
- The first hour of each lesson will be discussion and hand analysis. Everyone will be encouraged to bring a couple of hands and/or a topic that they want to discuss.
- The second hour of each lesson will be a video analysis of one student. That student (which will rotate each lesson) will be given the opportunity to make a video of his play, and we will watch and analyze the video together in the lesson.
- There will be a total of 6 lessons spanning 12 weeks. That way, each student will be able to make one video.
- The cost of the lessons will be $250/hr, or $3000 for the entire course. I will give first preference to the students that are willing the $3000 up front. My preferred payment method is a transfer on Poker Stars.
If you are interested in participating, please send me an email at nimankenkre@yahoo.com to confirm. Please include whether or not you will be willing to pay the 3K up front. I will take students on a first come, first serve basis.
My last couple of groups have been very entertaining and educational - and I'm looking forward to another great session! Cheers!
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Post Date: 08 Dec, 2009
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I took Sachil to a farm in Berlin, Massachusetts on Sunday with his friend Jack and his mom. We had an awesome farm-fresh breakfast, took the kids on pony rides, and had a long snowball war. The kids are both three years old and can't make their own snowballs. So they kept running up to me and demanding that I make snowballs for them. And no sooner would I pack a nice snowball together and hand it to either of them - then they would immediately hit me with it at point blank range! This had them in stitches and managed to entertain them for over an hour. ... Afterwards, we went to the mall and visited Santa. That brought back a traumatic memory for me: I remember being about 5 years old or so and being scared out of my wits when my parents made me sit on Santa's lap. Something about that giant beard and the "ho-ho-ho" was terribly sinister and frightening! Sachil was a little uneasy at first, but he relaxed once they decided that they (he and Jack) would go up together. Once up there, he confidently rattled off his Christmas list: a ukelele, microphone stand, and a better sled. He's either a lot braver than I was, or this Santa was a lot less menacing!
Changing the subject, I think that my recently released "Know when to fold 'em" video is the best one I have ever made. I'd recommend checking it out if you have not already. I can't make these philosophy videos too often, as it takes a lot more work than a regular video - but I do think this one turned out pretty well.
Tonight is the last lesson of my current group session. I will be opening up registration for my next group soon. I will be visiting my parents in Albuquerque at the end of December and into early January, so I've decided not to start the next session until I get back. There are a couple members of the current group who are going to continue on with the next session, and I am going to cap the registration so that everyone will get enough personalized attention. So to that end, when I do open up the registration, I will take students on a first come, first serve basis. If you are interested in being part of my next group, please stay tuned to my blog. I will provide the details in another entry in the near future.
Finally, in fantasy football news, I have 919 points, good for 1825th (out of over 2.1 million) in the world and 41st (out of over 68,000) in the United States. That is only good for a tie for second in my league. The leader has 938. Other notables are Asa (6th, 896), Pranav (7th, 895), Louie (8th, 891), Prabhav (20th, 815), Richard (22nd, 812), Ron (28th, 778), and James Cross (30th, 731). My team currently looks like this:
GK: Sorensen, Myhill
D: Ashley Cole, Evra, Ivanovic, Hangeland, Shawcross
M: Fabregas, Ashley Young, Dempsey, Dunn, and O'Hara
F: Rooney, Adebayor, and Darren Bent
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